Career, family, a loving partner – you’ve checked all the boxes you always wanted to.
But still, sometimes you think about your day and feel short of breath.
Because despite all the things that you’re doing, you’ve forgotten how to put yourself first in life.
And maybe you think that “putting yourself first in life” sounds selfish.
Maybe the idea makes you feel guilty.
But I’m here to tell you that it’s not.
Because, ultimately, when you refuse to take care of yourself first, and when you put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own, you’re being unfair to yourself and your loved ones.
Here’s why that’s true (and how to start turning things around!)
What it means to put yourself first in life
You may be thinking, “What does she mean, “put myself first”? I do a million things for myself each day. My time management skills rock, and I get SO damn much accomplished in my career and for my family!”
You probably are getting a ton accomplished for your job and loved ones.
But stop for a second and think –
How much are you actually getting done for YOU?
Seriously, let’s take stock.
I bet that most of the time, you’re at the top of your game, juggling a million different things, and – for the most part – keeping all those balls in the air.
There are some days that are better than others… But if we zoom out, you’re basically kicking ass and taking numbers when it comes to getting shit done on your life’s big to-do list.
You’re killing it in your career, you still manage to have wine nights or dinners where you reconnect with your partner (even if it’s just for an hour or do), and your kids are fed, clothed, bathed, and LOVED. They know it; you know it.
But where are you in this list of to-do’s?
And how are your needs being met?
I’m not talking about the basic needs of showering, dressing, fitting in a quick workout or making sure that you eat.
I’m talking about your wants and desires.
Tell me, when was the last time you ended the day thinking, “It was so great to make time for me today”?Making time for you doesn’t just mean taking a long bubble bath or going clothes shopping. It means listening to your big wants and desires. Via www.DrHiotakis.com Click To Tweet
What do you want for YOU?
My guess is that you actually have a whole OTHER to-do list.
You know the one.
The one that’s hidden away on the Notes section of your iPhone or on a colorful Post-it somewhere.
It’s the to-do list that you’re always meaning to get to.
Where you want to maybe start a yoga practice again.
Have a regular dinner date with your girlfriends.
Take a webinar series.
Read that great book.
Shift your diet into something new and more nurturing.
But the items on that to-do list always seem to get pushed off to another day.
And believe me, I hear you, because I’m guilty of it myself.
Nonetheless, every year, I make sure to write a wishlist in the Notes section of my iPhone – one that‘s just for me.
A few years back, that list looked something like this:
- Get pregnant despite being told I couldn’t
- Get my coaching certification
- Get one massage a month
- Go to Paris and Italy this year
- Take cooking classes
- Visit NYC every 6 weeks.
I didn’t put filters or restrictions on what I wanted.
And it was when I started checking in with that wish-list regularly – using it as a kind of accountability sheet, not just writing my dreams down and then forgetting about them – that I started to be amazed at what I was able to make happen.
It was as if writing everything down and regularly checking in with the list brought my goals closer to reality.
It felt incredibly empowering.
Because I was finally giving myself permission to want all those things.
To prioritize my own desires, put myself first in life, and take action on my dreams.
Even better? By doing so, I put the ball in motion to make those dreams happen.
Take action to make your own dreams happen by downloading my free guide on 3 Simple Ways To Schedule In More Time For YOU
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty
To be brutally honest, learning how to put yourself in first in life isn’t a skill that’s optional.
You need it.
You need it, so that you don’t get to a point where you’re thinking, resentfully, “Why do I have no time for ME?!”
You need it, because loving and taking care of yourself first will help you better love and take care of others.
Here’s an example of why that’s true.
Just imagine that you’re in an airplane with your family, and an emergency is happening.
Of course, your gut reaction is to put the mask on your children first.
But guess what?
By the time you get the mask on them, you’ll have been deprived of oxygen for so long that you’ll be gone.
BUT if you ignore your instinct to take care of yourself last and instead put the mask on yourself first, you can be more available not only to put the mask on your children, but to hold it there and support them.
In that situation, you have to save yourself first to survive.
And I’m here to tell you that in your day-to-day life, you also have to start putting yourself first.
So that you’re not just surviving, but flourishing in life.
You need to make this change – and once you start doing it, you’ll also realize that you’re NOT BEING SELFISH.
Because taking the time to serve yourself and your own wants doesn’t mean that you’re greedy or entitled.
In fact, by practicing self-care, listening to your own desires, and putting yourself back in rotation on your to-do list, you’ll actually become more available and more of a support to others – because you’re emotionally and mentally nourished.
So what’s one thing you’d like to make happen for yourself in the next month? Share it in the comments below – I’d love to hear it! This is a blog so comments.
And if you want some extra accountability and help designing an action plan to make your goals happen, check out my Work With Me page where you can benefit from my expert support and pointers.