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The link between happiness & thermostats

Did you know  happiness & thermostats have more in common than you think?

And no..I’m not talking about the happiness from when you and your husband finally agree on the perfect temperature to sleep in 

(I don’t think that will ever happen…at least in our house we’re always sneaking around trying to change the temperature when we think the other one’s sleeping→  Sorry Billy! I’m  always lowering the temp when you’re sound asleep!) 

But, do you ever notice that there are certain moments in your life where you experience sheer joy and happiness and you wish you could hold on to it. 

As a kid I would pour over the Sears catalogue circling every gift I “needed” and then in my Type A 8 year old self I would make Santa a Top 25, Top 10 and Top 3 list (My poor parents …..I was a list maker even then).

Then Christmas would come and go. I would usually get at least one of my absolute must have wishes on the list (except for the pony..I never got the pony).  And in that moment I was thrilled…so happy and excited! 

And I would revel in that excitement but by Christmas evening it started to feel like a normal day again.

The extreme high I experienced that morning, the sheer joy and happiness started to level off.

The same rang true for the last day of school. I remember feeling a great wave of excitement rush over me as I walked out the door on that last day of school and felt the freedom of summer brush against my face as my cheeks warmed and my hair blew in the wind.

But by that next day the excitement and happiness had leveled back to a sense of calm.

And what about dinner with friends (I can’t wait for that again!) Having the best time at the table, laughing for hours and then by the time Billy & I pulled back into the driveway our happiness level was at its familiar level. 

Do you ever wonder why our happiness levels always go back to a baseline and why certain people seem to have more of it?

Did you ever know you have an internal thermostat for happiness and that this internal thermostat is set to a certain level. 

Some of us are set to “Elle Woods level happiness” where most days we just seem ridiculously happy. And we stay there. 

Even when something really bad or troubling happens we are able to bounce back pretty quickly and keep moving forward. 

People are envious of our resilience and ability to handle stressful situations. Our resilience is just extremely strong. 

Some of us are set more like “Meredith Grey level happiness” . 

We’re  able to experience intense moments of happiness (cue the dancing)  but then come back down to a cool stable level where we feel most comfortable functioning. 

We can handle setbacks but we need some recovery time to do so. 

And then some of us are set more like “ Ross Gellar  level happiness “ where our happiness level is lukewarm. 

We have bursts of happiness that hit us but we come back down pretty quickly.

When things get tough we tend to speak in extremes of “things never go right” or “this is too hard” and then shut down for days on end → with a resilience factor close to zero 

Here’s the fun part!

You can change your happiness thermostat. 

Why am I telling you this? 

My clients have their fair share of intense stress -> (running her business, showing up as a wife and mother, not to mention all the million and one other things on her list).

I always do an assessment of their thermostat level prior to our VIP days.


Am I concerned with whether or not my clients are happy or not? Well sure but that’s not really the reason—The reason is her happiness AND her resilience.

You see if during my assessment I find out that her natural thermostat is Ross Gellar my goal is to get her to Meredith Grey and quickly. 

For two reasons.


REASON 1: When she’s able to change her internal thermostat her default starts to shift and she sees life through a rosier lens. 


REASON 2: Automatically when the internal thermostat starts shifting up for happiness the resilience factor improves exponentially.


This is extremely important when she has to make crucial decisions for her business, day in and day out, show up for the clients she’s currently serving, show up on sales calls with potential clients, and have the energy and bandwidth to show up in her personal life for her family, not to mention needing time for herself. 

In order to do this you need to be able to bounce back quickly!  

I know what you’re going to ask→ How do I change my internal thermostat?

I have a ton of tricks in my toolbox but one you can take away right now it an oldie but goodie  ..for a reason (there’s a ton of science behind it)

Practice Gratitude…and raise your internal happiness thermostat 

Like a workout for your mind,  you need to practice this everyday. 

Remember your mind is wired for what it knows…for better or worse. 

And just like the thermostatic controls in your home…when the air temp is too hot or too cold your system will work hard at getting your home to your set temperature.

The parallel is this.

Your  internal thermostat set level for happiness when an amazing event or an upsetting event happens→ your mind will always bring you back to your set level. 

BUT when you raise that set level you also can improve your resilience

So if you want to bring your A game to not only your business but also to your personal life it’s best if you raise that internal thermostat. 

And you absolutely can.

I’m curious what’s your internal happiness thermostat level set at? Me personally–I’m between Rachel Greene & Elle Woods. 


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